Can’t say my mom was too happy with my senior pictures…
i remember even just a year ago, i’d see pictures all the time of people with captions saying “i’m ugly” and stuff like that
but now, just about every day on my dash, it’s gotten to be like a thing where people will say “my hair looked super cute today” or “i’ve been feeling so body positive lately”
how awesome is that
cute story: I have a friend with a prosthetic arm, and he once confided in me that, after seeing this movie, he’s always wanted someone to ask him for this. Then, the one day, I was at the grocery store with him and a couple other people, and one of our friends couldn’t reach a box on the shelf and asked him, “Dude gimme a hand here”. And, I swear to christ he practiced this because the speed at which he slipped off his prosthesis was blinding, and then he hurled his arm at her. He, unfortunately, got a tad overexcited, and instead of it just landing near her, it spun out and essentially bitchslapped her in mid-air.
Now we say it all the time around him, and he blames Disney for the fact that he has no girlfriend.
Joseph Stalin raises his head, a sly twinkle in his eye as he meets the bald man’s suggestive gaze. “Walter…” He purrs, dragging his tongue along the underside of his mustache in anticipation. “I see you’ve finally arrived.”
"Oh, Walter," The man chuckled, mustache quivering in delight. "I am the police.”
when she says she doesn’t send nudes
when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes
when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia
When Russia sends you nudes
when u are hanging with ur bro and u are texting ur crush but ur crush isn’t replying to u and u tell ur bro “hey dude text christina and see if she replies to you” and ur bro gets a new text message from christina in 2 minutes and starts textin rapid fire meanwhile u are sortin out some heavy feels in the background. u turn on the tv. maybe watching a little football will ease the pain….